Should I knock, or should I not knock. That was the only thing going through my mind as I paced back and forth through the hallway. Christian’s office was right in front of me and I had seen him go in there, but I remembered Emmanuella's words and her clearly telling me to not bother him when he’s busy, but I had no choice. It was the same routine he followed. He went into his office and after that, he disappeared to wherever he ran off to. If I did not do it now, I had to wait until tomorrow. I took a deep breath and gathered my courage before knocking on the door. “Come in. ” He called out and I opened the door. He was sitting behind his desk and was busy on his laptop, ignoring my every existence. I cleared my throat and sat down in front of him. “Just a second. ” He said and finished typing before closing the laptop. Our eyes met and neither of us had an expression, I didn’t know whether to glare or smile or what to do, because I never had a problem with him. He was the one who was angry with me. “How’s the baby?” He asked with a worried look on his face. “Good. “And how are you?” He asked next and once again I gave him the same answer. He did not seem angry at all which seemed weird because I clearly remembered his outburst. “And how are we?”. “I don’t know, you tell me, Christian. You’re the one who told me not to talk to you unless it’s about the baby. ” I told him. It seemed as if he was trying to make it seem as if I was the problem, while there was only one instigator and that was Francesca. “Well things have changed, the baby will have a very poor upbringing if we can’t communicate as parents. ” He sighed. I wanted to believe that he meant it, but it was clearly all an act and I was completely fine with it. After the baby got here we did not have to see each other ever again unless it was for a visit— so I was completely okay with it. “I’m glad you’ve finally figured it out. “I’m trying to make up with you, and you’re not making it any better. Let’s keep it nice. ” He said, trying his hardest to stay calm. I bet he wanted to yell at me again, but even if that’s what he wanted I wouldn’t let him. “Nice? Just how nice our evening started last week?” I asked, thinking about how good we bonded in the car before his mother had to go and ruin everything. “Serena, I know that she treated you terrible but you threw a drink in my mom’s face!” He spoke in disbelief, and surprisingly enough seemed close to dropping this fake act. “After she did it first. ” I reminded him. None of this would’ve happened if she left me alone. “You called her a whore. “After she did it first,” I repeated once again. I looked at Christian’s clenched fist and wondered for how much longer he would’ve been able to endure this. I knew I was provoking him, but for there to be no misunderstandings in the future, the truth had to be told. “So? You be the bigger person!”. “What are you in kindergarten?” Christian commented. Yes, I was being petty, but I could not accept how people gave Francesca a pass and not me. “I’ve tried to be the bigger person and I can’t because I won’t allow a grown woman to bully me. “I wouldn’t either and I told you to trust me, I told you I would take care of it-”. “When? Do I have to be on the floor drowning in tears and embarrass myself for you to protect me?” I asked him on the verge of tears. It seemed no matter what I would always feel alone. Everything was always my fault. “Do you know how unwanted I feel, don’t you think I feel guilty?”. “Serena-“. Christian stood up from his chair and looked at my tears, unsure whether to comfort me or not

Usually, I would look away embarrassed but I did not care, I wanted him t o see how I felt— and it worked because I could see somewhere of regret in his eyes. “Marc told me I put you in an uncomfortable position and for that I’m sorry, and I wou ldn’t if you explained things a bit better. If you told me what would happen if I spoke back I would’ve never done it because trust me or not, I’m not the devil. ” I told him. “Serena, I might not show you but I am just as bother ed by everyone as you are. “Then show me!” I yelled. I had expected b oth of us to apologize and move on, but I had yet to hear a single apology from him. “I did defend you against my mother, walked out and embarrassed my entire family, put my positi on in danger. for you. what more do you want?” He asked, still not getting the point. “No, yo u did it for the baby who is also your responsibility! So don’t blame me for your sick family!” . “My what?” He spoke flustered. “Let’s drop it because I don’t think you get my point,” I told him, but he wasn’ t finished yet. “You don’t have a point. “Yes, I do. The point is that I can’t trust you to defend the baby if you have this strange delay in protecting us. You shou ld’ve defended the baby from the first time she mentioned it!” . “Going against my mother is not that easy as you t hink. You don’t have parents or anyone in the firs t place, so I don’t expect you to understand but-“ . O u ch . He at least had somewhat of a good heart and stopped talking after see ing my face. You don’t have parents. As if I hadn’t heard that sentence enough. It was a sentence that h ad got me expelled from school time and time again, and if I did no t have a baby inside of me I would’ve launched at him the same way. “Serena, I didn’t mean it like that. ” He tried, but the damage had a lready been done. His opinion was very clear so I was definitely not mistaken. I came here to apologize, and this is what I got in return. My body was frozen and I did not know what to do or what to say. I did not understand because I did not have parents, he was right about that. He wa lked towards me and held down my arms before I could get up from the chair. “I’m sorry, I should not have said that. ” He said, but his words were meaningless. It was just to make me stay, and that was it. The hatred in his voice when he told me I did not have anyone could not be denied. “No, you were right. We have no business communicating with each other unless it’s abo ut the baby, so let’s keep it this way. ” I told him and pushed him away so I could fina lly get up. I walked out of his office but he followed after me and called out my name. “Stop,” I told him, but he followed me to my room an d closed the door. “It’s not like I grew up with par ents anyway, so I don’t have the right to say that. “I don’t want to hear your sob story, and if you’re worried abou t me leaving, I won’t. I will milk you dry until your very last p enny because you asked me to. ” I told him and sat down on my bed. “My dad. growing up he had never shown me any love and made me compete with my brot hers. Till this very day, I’m still competing with my brothers. ” He spoke and sat dow n next to me. This time I didn’t interrupt him, because curiosity got the best of me. “My mom was always busy and never at h ome so she did not raise me at all but she’s still my mother. ” He continued. “I'm scared and I don’t want the baby to grow up like I did or like you did . without any family support, so I want to do things right and remain peac eful with both of you, but please understand that this is also new for me

“And I’m sorry if I’ve ever done something to make you feel like you or the baby do not matter because you do . ” He apologized. After learning that he was just as scared as I was, I felt a bit better. His comment was stil l a bit weird to me, and would probably take me a few minutes to get over, but I understood where he came from. “You’re still competing with your brothers?” I asked him. H e seemed vulnerable at the moment and I was eager to get to know him, so I wouldn’t take this opportunity for granted. “Yes. ” He sighed. “I’ve never cared for taking over the family business, but Gio is full of greed and Enzo is an airhead so I will do it for the family’s sake. ” He spoke determinedly. “Our. business partners, don’t agree wi th my dad. They think I’m not fit, mainly because I’ve always been vocal about wanting to do things differently. I felt my adrenaline kick in at the information I was getting. This is all that I wanted to know, an d it felt as if we were finally getting somewhere. “Serena, I know you’re not stupid and that you know what we do. but I will clean up the Lamberti name and give everyth ing to our child, so until then please try to bear with me. His words had finally hit me. He was trying to fix things and I had mo st likely ruined it with my big mouth. If he told me sooner, I would’ve held myself back, but instead, I gave them more reasons to doubt him. Suddenly Francesca’s words ha d come back to me. This is who will be protecting all of us. “I must’ve put you in a really awkward position. is th ere anything I can do to fix my mistake?” I asked him b ut he shook his head and placed his hand on top of mine. “It’s not your mistake, I should’ve told you. ” He told me and brushed my hair to the side. “I will fix this, I don’t want you to be stressed, it won’t do any good for the baby. ” He smiled. “All I want is for us to get along better. “You have to be here for that to ha ppen,” I told him. He wasn’t even a t home so that was a bold statement. “I will, I know I work a lot but I promise you to get home early every evening to make time f or you. ” He said. Once again he had made me a promise, but I knew he couldn’t keep them so I d id not expect anything. Just like him, all I wanted was for us to get along. and that was it. “What’s with the necklace, you’re still wearing it?” Christian commented about the necklace around my neck. I smiled and nodded my head. Emilio giving the necklace in his family’s name and saying I was family warmed my heart, especially with the necklace looking like the same butterfly-shaped necklace which my birth parents had once left me. The necklace I lost. “Oh, it reminds me of my past. I had one like that when I was younger, but I lost it. ” I told him the short version of it. Pe rhaps I wasn’t ready to share that much about my life just yet. “Your friend Emili o and his family se em nice. ” I smiled. “They do. go get some sleep it’s late. ” He patted my back and walked out. For some reason each time I had plans to hate him he knew how to turn it back around. Hearing his story made me understand him a bit more and hearing it was all for the child motivated me to work along, and by doing so I would be taking the first step. By apolog izing to Francesca